When I originally started writing a blog, I think I was writing for one pure reason- that it felt really good. I was trying to remember things about having babies, buying houses and learning to navigate adulthood, what felt like an unfamiliar world. I used this space to record memories about my kids. To write each of them letters that someday they can hopefully look back on and read when I’m not around or they just need to “feel me”. I’m still adamant I’m going to get them on paper in a journal of some sort so they have them.
I didn’t care how good my pictures were as long as I had one of that exact moment I was trying to capture. And I’m going back to that. I no longer care who reads this as long as I have a space to write my heart on.
I find life going by at warp speed and suddenly I am trying to stop the train. Hit the brakes with everything I have because I am afraid I am going to lose the memories of the little things that make this journey so incredibly worth it.
So, I am taking this space back to remember, to record and recount all those things. Sure, I might tell you about some book I read or what we ate that was delicious (like the prepared fish taco mix from Whole Foods last night) but mostly this place is for my memories.
Reading Angela Duckworth’s new book “Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance”. It’s a really interesting read and as a teacher who believes in the comprehensive high school experience for a student it validates my belief that passion and hard work trump an “A” in an AP course.
Watching as Brady continues to gain a sense of independence that I am still wishing was a few years away. He is choosing to play with friends anytime over us and all of the sudden he is starting to do his own thing.
“Brady- what do you want for breakfast?”
“Don’t worry about it mom. I’ll figure it out.”
Listening to Cate as she lays on the couch with an iPad. The poor girl just falls apart the last week of school every single spring. Two years ago, she caught the stomach flu. Last year she got Hand, Foot and Mouth and this year she has strep. I smelled it on her the minute I got near when I picked her up sick from school. The bright side, is this one can be fixed with meds. And fast.
Eating anything we can put on the grill at this point. The reality of living in the Midwest is that we have to use our crock pot and our stove a lot in the winter when it is just too damn cold to cook but since the temperatures have finally gotten in to the 50’s we are using our grill for a change. Those fish tacos last night were awesome by the way.
Wearing almost a uniform these days. I live anything that is denim, stripes, gray and or black. I find myself wanting to buy other things but I have finally realized what does and doesn’t look good on me as I get older and the trends don’t seem to be as important. I am ready to live in workout clothes as summer approaches and the gym is in my daily plan.
Wanting to purge and organize and decorate and clean and redo spaces in our house. I feel like 4 years later, our home could use some sprucing and updating. We have rooms that still haven’t been touched and walls that need love. So, I am on a mission this summer to make decisions, pull the trigger and get things moving. I know I say this every year, but it’s time. I might even do a little DIY work in our mudroom. Anyone want to help?
Looking Forward To the end of the school year which is early next week. We have paid a heavy price for our school being under construction. We have had a 5 day week each week which is not typical for schools. But, the payoff is here because we are getting an extended summer that put us out in mid-May and not returning until late August. I need this break. My family needs this break so I can be a mom. And I’m ready.
Thinking about the weeks to come and the anticipation of big life things. I have discovered my ability to cope is stronger than I thought yet it doesn’t dull the pain that comes with hard things. I wake up each day with a stronger sense of priorities than I ever have. Maybe that comes with age and the not so easy things but I know that right now my family matters and past that I’m indifferent. I go to bed thankful even on the hard days because I have learned we are living a lot of life right now and it’s the good stuff. The stuff you remember on hard days and stuff that make you stronger.
Hopefully, I’m back in this space. Kindergarten is coming to a close for Brady and our first year of JK is ending for Cate. There is so much to remember and celebrate.