This House

I’ll never forget the two days when we brought both of you home to this house…

This house that we have called home for three and a half years.  This house where the basement is full of trucks, crayons and books and was empty three years ago. This house where the bathtub ledge is lined with boats letters and buckets.  This house where a swing is attached to the tree in the back, showing its age, but reminding us of how far we have come. 
Brady, I was so tired, so unsure, and so scared that all I remember is that it was wet outside. That dampness in the air letting you know that fall was here, cold temperatures were coming and that rain would be a part of the hours to come.  It added a level of uneasiness if I am being honest. I remember thinking this was the not the homecoming I had dreamt about.  It was almost dark and a Friday.  We waited a long time to be discharged and so we didn’t leave the hospital until right before rush hour and I was terrified you would wake up hungry in the car.  I remember walking up to the door and the lights being on.  I remember wondering a very selfish thing as we approached with you for the first time, “could I get up the stairs by myself?” Mimi tried to take a picture and I told her no. Oh, how I regret that now.  The curtains were pulled open, the house smelled clean like endust reminding me that your mimi and paw paw had been hard at work getting our house ready to welcome you home.  We ate my favorite meal- roast beef, mashed potatoes with gravy and cooked carrots and I remember settling in on the chair in our family room watching “Survivor” as I drifted in and out of sleep around seven. I remember that first night like it was yesterday. I fed you on the glider in the middle of the night, fell asleep holding you, rocking you and staring at you only to be startled by paw paw, jumping a mile and returning to our bed. 

Cate, in true fashion, you came home on a loud, bright day of brilliant sunshine and I felt ready, right and good about bringing you home. A heat wave had ended hours before and there was a cool breeze and our doors were open to welcome us. I remember coming up the stairs, anxious to see your brother and ready to return to our life.  I felt good; I was confident and ready to settle in to a routine as a family of four and enjoy you.  Nana, Papa, Aunt Laura and Roger were all there with your brother when we got home. It was early in the afternoon.  I tried to nap but couldn’t and yet you were sleepy most of the day. We ate as a family of four that first night, Leona’s if I am not mistaken.  You were quite the sleeper the first night and we wondered if it was possible that we were blessed with an even better sleeper the second time around. You slept five straight hours the first night, only to prove for months after, that it was a fluke. 

We have grown in this house. We entered as two and leave as four. 
And as I watch you grow daily, I will remember this house as our first home, the place we brought our babies home to grow, make me whole and remember that home is where your family is.

So, with true sadness in my heart that is full of many good memories, I say goodbye to Nelson and hello to Indian.  I can only dream about the adventures that await us and the memories we will make.  If it’s anything like our first home, the best is truly yet to come. 

Comments

  1. Tears. oh, the tears. I have a similar post started and I can’t finish it because i just cry too much. Dammit! Promise me you’ll virtually hold my hand through the next few weeks/months.

    • Of course I will hold your hand! This is going to be good for both of us and honestly I could live anywhere as long as my family was with me! You are going to love FL, I just know it!

  2. Honey! New beginnings. I know your beautiful babies came home there, but they were home because they were with you. And there will be new beginnings for new memories soon! I have faith! xoxo

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