Cate- One Year

Dear Cate,

I rarely write directly to you on this public blog because every month you get a letter from me and those thoughts and words are so private that I usually want to keep them tightly between my fingers and your eyes.  But, every so often I feel compelled to write so that everyone knows the immense love, gratitude and pull I feel deep in my heart when I think about you and us and what you have done to me. Don’t worry, I will still write you that letter but I wanted to share with the world what this past year, this past month and you mean to me. 

You turned one this weekend.  It was a fabulous celebration; I expected nothing less when your Aunt Christy was put in charge.  I keep thinking about is just how special it was that you, my best girl, turned one and how quickly the world is going to become your oyster.  Sure, I am happy that we are done with the sleepless nights, the screaming all day and struggles that come with two kids 2 and under.  But, I am heartbroken that bottles in our glider are coming to an end that the cuddles you so desperately needed a few short months ago are slowly disappearing because there is so much to explore and that your reliance on me seems to be slipping every day.

You stretched me this year…I loved deeper than I thought possible, grew stronger than I knew I was capable of and learned the meaning of patience. 

I know that this first year was hard, but it was worth it. Oh Cate, it was so worth it.  Not just because we got through it, because we got better.  You, me, your dad…we all are better for the past year. 

via pinterest 

It was worth it as I watch you wave to anyone and everyone like Miss America because you are just that social now.

It was worth it as you smile each morning, rubbing your eyes when you first wake up but reaching with all your strength to be picked up out of your crib.

It was worth it when you scream “ma ma” as you destroy my drawers, dig in the garbage and climb the stairs. 

It was worth it when I watch you cry when we tell you no or to stop windshield wiping food off of your highchair. 

And it is worth it as I watched you surrounded by family and friends still look at me when we sang to you. 

It was all worth it. 

I love you little girl, my best girl, my sweet baby Cate.  Happy Birthday!