Contentment

As much as I am a glass half real or empty girl, I find myself lately being really content with me, my life and and the life I am living.  I am starting to realize, with age I swear, that life is really what you make of it- doing what you makes you happy not what you are supposed to be doing or someone else says is right.

Coming in to the summer I was so full of lists that needed to be checked off, full of fear for the days that my kids would be home and need my attention all day and the monotony that comes with being a full time mom who doesn’t go to work.

And those lists are still long with really very little checked off.  And, I am okay with it.  More than okay with it.  Because I have spent every day this summer just being here, around and present with the three people that make me who I am and better every single day.  I haven’t picked up my laptop much. Our internet has been spotty thanks to some squirrels which has probably helped.  And if I am keeping it real, the list got shorter this weekend after a visit from my parents.  But still, summer has been lovely for the most part.

The fear has evaporated and I even think I have enjoyed most of this summer with my kids.  There are challenges with two under five but the sweet moments are the best and outnumber the bad by a lot.  And when Cate asks me to play baby again with her I say yes because that is what I want to be doing in that moment.  And when Brady asks me to pitch to him AGAIN, I do, because both of us wait all year for the days when playing baseball and riding bikes are our biggest events.

Brady Race

We are lazily spending days swimming, barbequing with friends, sipping cold beers and eating ice cream before dinner.  We stay in our jammies until the last possible moment and I find myself refilling my coffee cup more than I thought was ever possible in a morning.  Actually getting to enjoy my coffee and read the news.    Life is actually manageable and enjoyable with two kids under the age of five.  All of this comes at a price.  I am not constantly running errands, our house does not have some much needed updates and organization that I need to get done and I am not as thin as I would like to be.  But, I am here and I am happy.  Content.  No longer wanting more, worried about what I’m not doing.  Insted I’m  just being me and doing what I do.

Cate

When I think about my kids, I want them to remember the summer days and what we did. The mornings we were covered in sand and had to take baths before picnic lunches in our living room.  The afternoons we went to the self-serve place and got gummy bears before we ate dinner.   Not the picture I bought or the pounds I lost. I am content.  And here. And happy.  (Stay tuned. More posts coming.)

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Comments

  1. This makes me heart so so so very happy for you.

  2. I have tears in my eyes! SO, so happy for you! 🙂 This is beautiful!

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