‘merica (4th of July)

We returned to my parents’ home for the Fourth of July weekend.  The weather was almost perfect. I say almost because towards the end of our stay it was just too hot for small kids or at least my kids if you weren’t near water.  We spent a lot of time doing very little which is really nice if you read my last post. There is a fine line that I feel like we tread daily… too little activity and we have behavior issues but less structure usually results in some equally good memories.

Cate Lashes

Her lashes kill me…

The in ground sprinklers provided a good start.


And the sprinkler helped continue the fun.


Pure joy


Just not sure about the water

It is amazing to relieve your childhood thru your child. I wanted him to know and experience some of my best memories. Popcorn in a paper bag, a cooler of drinks, blankets and bug spray set the scene for a night I won’t ever forget as a mom. As we were waiting, there were walks to the pond, glow sticks to play with and time to just be in the moment. We watched as a dad and his daughter played catch as the sun started to set. I remember being more excited to play catch somewhere other than our front sidewalk on the 4th. I sat their wondering how soon before Brady asks to bring a mitt or stick or a football. And, I wondered if this is what it means to come full circle. To be so grateful for your past and so excited to think about what lies ahead. There were a lot of wows, oh wow and I love those being uttered in those minutes immediately after the sun set for the evening and I caught myself watching him more than I watched the show.


Waiting patiently



I am sitting on the front porch of my parent’s home writing this listening to the faint sound of cars on one of the main streets in their town. There are insects buzzing, leaves rustling but other than that it is pretty quiet at their home, in my hometown. 

Home is a funny word if you think about it. Some people talk about it literally as the place where they dwell, that they drive to at the end of the day or a place to keep things they buy.  Others say it abstractly and define home as if it is synonymous with family.  Me, well I sit somewhere in the middle I guess.

Home is where I can take my shoes off and stay awhile.  Home is where I can be myself not worried about others’ opinions or to do lists that always seem to be a mile long.  Home is just simply that place where I am a mama, wife and daughter. Home is with my family regardless of town and I am happy to be home. 

This girl gives the best hugs and when she does you don’t want to ever let go. 
We are settling in for the week at my parent’s home.  It is not the home that I grew up in, where the memories are deep in the walls, the basketball hoop on the uphill driveway has rust from one to many games of horse and my old room was covered in cork boards with pictures but it is home simply because it’s where my parents live, they welcome us with open arms and that is enough.  Every time I leave my home and to go to their home, this anxiety creeps in my body making me wonder if I am capable of making the trip, doing the majority of the parenting while I am gone and if I should even leave my own home where routines are familiar, there is a second parent and I am completely comfortable. 

Then I get here, I settle in and so do my kids.  We fall back in to routines that are similar to home, paw paw and mimi become their favorite playmates and I remember why I miss this home.  
Life stops or at least slows down dramatically.  And I finally feel like summer vacation has begun.  Maybe it’s escaping the fast pace of the city that wears you on you eventually or the fact that I can hear crickets chirp when I go to bed.  Either way, I am relaxed, reflecting and content at this moment. 

The biggest dilemmas each day surround how we will get to Starbucks, where to swim and eat ice cream and who is going to push Cate or water the flowers. 
My kids sleep better, my mind is more at ease and I am better at reflecting and being grateful for all the things I have instead of what I want.  I miss my husband when I am home remembering why he is my partner but know knowing he deserves a break and that he misses us.  I also appreciate my parents.  I appreciate them as parents knowing they fought the same battles I do- “No do not throw the blocks.  It is nap time. We have read two books and now it is nigh-nigh time.  We do not spit out our food after we jam twenty crackers in our tiny mouth.” And I appreciated them as grandparents.  Seeing them with my kids is fierce reminder why our kids need their grandparents in their lives. 

 They are best buddies. 

We are crossing things off that summer bucket list while we are down here  including the pool, the farm, the splash pad, the museum and fire station,  But we are also just slowing down and I need it. It’s good to be home.