Currently {February 2016}

Currently….

Reading- I haven’t been reading a lot if isn’t for school.  I am hoping that as spring shows up and we head off to spring break, I might get a chance to dive into a novel.  For work, I am reading “Originals” by Adam Grant. It’s super interesting and totally different than his first book called, “Give and Take”.  I just started “The Ramblers’ for pleasure but I am struggling to keep my attention on it.

Watching- Billions and we finished Narcos.  I love me some “Brody” from Homeland.  I don’t find him attractive per se but I think he is so good on both shows. Some days I wonder if we need cable because we are starting to watch so much Netflix and premium channels like Showtime. I’m excited the Amazing Race is back on and Grey’s Anatomy is the show I just can’t quit.

Listening- to anything country right now especially playlists on Pandora. We have the Amazon Alexa and she works so well with Pandora.  Luke Bryan is coming to Wrigley this summer so I have been listening to his station for most of this month.  I need to get tickets to this show.

Eating- healthy healthy stuff like Plentifuls. My husband has really gone to eating super healthy and so our dinners are looking different and I honestly feel better than ever.  I am starting to believe that food is fuel. I still love salty chips and was introduced to Plentifuls. They are lentils turned in to chips. They are awesome and the perfect “fix” for my salty cravings.

Wearing- I haven’t gotten to a capsule wardrobe but the month of February I have pretty much stuck to grays and black.  Something about wearing the same colors takes the pressure off…I keep changing shoes and jewelry but it makes it so much easier. Also, I am planning clothes for the week on Sunday night and that makes the mornings so much easier.

Wanting- Some new spring stuff including a new swimsuit.  Every single summer, I vow I am going to get a new swimsuit. This is the year. I feel like I owe it to myself to have a suit I feel good in and love to wear. I look everywhere but can’t decide if I want a one piece or a tankini. Wondering if I can accomplish this before we leave.

Looking Forward To- I am  counting down to spring break. We are headed back to the desert and I’m ready to soak up some time with my favorite people and some sun.  We really need this right now… we need a break for the pressures of life and while I am worried about being gone, I know that my little family needs this week together. Maybe we will bring spring back with us.

Telling Time

I’m standing at the end of our street with Cate in the stroller. Her little feet are poking out of her pink blanket that goes everywhere with her but is actually keeping her warm on this unusually cool summer evening. My flip flops are stretched out making walking hard but I just wanted to get walking so I didn’t take the time to get socks and put my running shoes on.   The sun is starting to go down and I’m watching cars whizzing by coming and going on the busy road.  This is our nightly ritual.  We walk, we talk, she tells me which way to go and we say hello to anyone or thing along the way.

My phone dings as we cross the street with a reminder that I’m supposed to be at Girls Night with some moms from our daycare.   I quickly dismiss it.  There is a moment of wanting to be there- drinking wine with no evening responsibilities but it leaves as fast as it comes.

shoes

I’m 35.  And I’m realizing that my life is different now and probably has been for a while and I just haven’t noticed.  I don’t have a huge circle of friends anymore.  Shoot, I don’t think I even have a double digit number of people I consider good friends.  I am now conscious of the choices I am making the people that are included.  I have my circle- this close knit, tight group of friends that are “my people” so to speak.  Some of “my people” I met through our daycare.  Yet, the nights our in mass don’t define our friendships so I don’t feel guilty not going.  They know me in my age, my life and my family.  My friends with history know me, have grown with me and unconditionally support me.

I love a night out with girlfriends as much as the next person.  But, I’ve come to appreciate the lack of frequency with which it occurs. I think it makes it even more special.  I am trying to do it all. To balance my roles as a mother, wife, daughter and friend.  As a teacher, a leader and a fitness fan.  Balance seems to be so elusive- close enough for me to judge my attempts at it but far enough away that I feel like it’s impossible.  I watch others who seem to do it so much better than me and wonder why I can’t.  And I remember that I am not them. So I dismiss my iPhone telling me it’s time to be somewhere other than where I am.   I push and I walk. Reminding myself that time is what you make of it.  A night out or a walk with a little girl.  And I know that tonight I am right where I am supposed to be with this little girl whose big eyes explore the world with her mom right behind her.