Archives for January 2012

Tidbits of Talk {Volume 3}

So, we have made it through another week. And this week started off so calm but yet we are here at the end of the week where papers have piled up, laundry needs to be done, and groceries need to be purchased.

~Cate was being weird to start the week. Or maybe just different…lord knows she is the polar opposite of Brady. She was pretty much on a hunger strike. Literally. The girl was drinking maybe 1 or 2 ounces at each feeding. She was happy for the most part but wouldn’t eat. This is not helping my chances of her sleeping through the night ever.

~I have fallen in love with our basement door. Weird right? But it has access to our garage, our garbage cans (not that I would know much about that) and all through a door off a room that is dirty. Where wet shoes don’t matter and it’s easy to walk right in.

~I went three days without caffeine. Three days specifically without Starbucks. Not sure how it happened but it did and I survived. All though, I don’t want to go through it again.

~ We are having pictures of our house taken to get in on the MLS. I have found more matchbox cars; trucks and band aids than I never knew existed. Crazy how much stuff kids accumulate! I see a purge session coming.

~ My husband’s calendar is killing me. I am trying to figure out how to convince him that an electronic calendar is for the best. He keeps a paper calendar people. It is killing me. I want to share a calendar with him. With two jobs, two kids, appointments, plans etc…we need to be able to see one other’s calendar. Sure I appreciate the phone calls, but it would be so much easier to just look online. How can I convince him google calendar and Outlook calendar are his friends?

~ Wedding and baby mania begin in our house this weekend. I am looking forward to celebrating a dear friend at her shower this weekend. It is at Biaggi’s which is one my favorites. I am realizing I forget how to dress for these things etc…

Happy Friday Friends!


Hug Your Babies Harder

I was going about my routine Monday night.

Give Cate reflux medicine.

Warm up the bottle.

Slow dance with Cate and singing in her ears to distract her as we wait.

The bottle was warm.

Grab phone and head up to the glider.

I had two text messages.

Instinctively, I knew.

This baby’s battle was over.

She was gone.

The tears started and didn’t stop.

Deep, sobbing, guttural tears that would not relent.

Leaving her parents, a brother and army of people on this earth with broken hearts.

No parent should have to bury a child.

And Blake and Brooke are good people.

Good to the core.

People you want to be friends with.

So, hug your babies tonight and every night for that matter.

Forgot about the whining, the crying, the negotiating, the tears, and exhaustion.

Be grateful you have one to hug.


From Baby to Boy

He has shed every ounce of being a baby and is a boy.

This age of 27 months. It’s magical. It’s fabulous. It’s exasperating. It full of emotions that I forget we are capable of as humans. Yet it is raw, real, unedited and unforgettable.

Me: Have I told you today I love you?

Brady: I wuv you too.

Glenn: I love you buddy.

Brady: I wuv you daddy…Cate too

He runs with a speed that scares me daily as he bobs and weaves around our tv, past our dining room table, over the threshold to the kitchen where he halts near the edge of the counter top by our back door while his Buzz Lightyear wings stay affixed to his body. There are bruises on his legs and arms proving the pure energy he puts in to simple things like running through our house.

And while he is rough, wild and full of energy. He gets it. He understands emotion. Sure he’s got a lot of emotion. But he gets the true meaning of emotion specifically empathy and that makes my heart full.

Brady: Mama otay? (As Cate wails in the background.)

Me: I’m okay buddy. Cate’s sad but she’s just hungry.

He walks over to her. He leans down. Rubs her head and kisses it with full sound effects as he asks her is she’s okay.

Me: She’s okay buddy. She is just hungry.

Brady: No cry Cate. Milk. Cate eat milk. She sad mama.

It’s these little things make me smile.

The way his thick coarse hair, inherited from his dad, sticks up five different ways each morning when he wakes.

The dead sprint towards me when I appear at the door of his daycare room, his squeal of mommy with arms and open ready to greet me with a hug.

The rosy cheeks that let us know his poor little body is fighting yet another virus from daycare.

The way I catch him talking to her, showing her that Sophie will be her best friend.

The way he lays his head softly on Glenn’s shoulder each night as he heads to bed. He could walk up the stairs himself but insists on being carried and just for a moment I think he is a baby again.


Tidbits of Talk {Volume 2}

Happy Wednesday! Talk about last minute on Wednesday! I am not sure where today went to be honest. I had every intention of getting a long post about Brady up on Monday but it did not happen. Maybe tomorrow I will get it up. But until then, enjoy some small tidbits from this week.

~Brady has pink eye in BOTH eyes right now. It started off with some goop and a trip to the pediatrician confirmed it. The humor is in the medicine- which is eye drops. They go in both eyes of my 2 year old three times a day. Yes, it is like taming a wild beast trying to get them in. We have tried a lot of different things. Our latest attempt was to let him “put the drops” in our eyes too! Complete with holding us down and telling us it is okay. It adds five minutes to our morning. We both hurry to lie flat on the couch and let him to do this to us so we can leave. It is comical and ridiculous but it works.

~I went to the gym yesterday to work out…and I got a solid work out done. I was dripping in sweat and Tuesday morning my chest and arms ached. Good start to the week and leaves me wanting even more gym time.

~My ma is all about black skinny jeans. I was completely opposed to them. It happens. I have worn them twice and I am now sold. They have a band at the top like maternity jeans (which makes it totally worth it) and they dress anything up. At age 32, I swear she still does a better job shopping for me than I do for myself.

~I rarely listen to the radio anymore. The Little Einsteins or Toy Story seems to dominate my car rides but there are two songs I can’t stop singing. Have you heard “I’m Gonna Love You Through It” by Martina McBride or “If I Die Young” by The Band Perry? I love both of them and I they will be the first thing I download to my new Nano.

~Speaking of my new Nano…my iPod Nano was recalled. It was a very quiet recall, understandably so. All I have to do is send my Nano in and Apple will send me a new one. This is like Christmas in January for me and helping persuade me even more to get an iPhone. New nano, new ipad, and now I just need the iMac and iPhone.

How is the week? Care to share any tidbits?


Tidbits of Talk {Volume 1}

Happy Wednesday! Sometimes when I write I realize I don’t have enough to write an entire blog post on something but I still feel compelled to “put things out there”. So begins what I am hoping is a weekly series called Tidbits of Talk.

~ I have worked last the last two nights and it is taking a toll on me. Between getting up with Cate (still, yes, I know, it’s BRUTAL), getting up extra early to pump and being “on” from 5am to 9pm, my body is really weary. I can feel it in between my shoulders and see it in my eyes. There is a silver lining…this is actually one of those times I appreciate the daycare at my high school. I stayed a little later yesterday morning and snuggled Cate then I stopped by while Brady was on the playground for one more kiss. Did it make my morning more chaotic with fewer minutes to spare? Yes. Was it worth it? 100%

~ I was starting to think things were getting easier. But really, they aren’t. I keep thinking we are adjusting and then we have a rough morning, terse words, tears, or a late start and I spend the minutes in the car wondering if and when life will ever get easier. I question if a move will really solve some of these things. There is just no down time. Seriously, the only time I sit down is when I am pumping or feeding Cate. Otherwise, I am washing bottles, making bottles, getting dinner ready, and laying out clothes, washing clothes or packing bags. There is no time for us, me or him and it continues to take its toll. It is life right now but it doesn’t mean I have to like it.

~ The weather has been unseasonably warm for Chicago. We are talking highs in the 50’s this week. I am itching, craving, begging and hoping my running shoes will somehow end up on my feet so I can get moving. Yet tomorrow snow is in the forecast … major snow. Cue the insanity of commuting with two kids. But as I drive, I am going to remember the warm temperatures of today and the excitement bubbling inside of me to bust out the Bob Revolution, my running shoes and my favorite girl once spring hits Chicago in a few months for those daily jogs I crave.

~We have 8 wedding in 2012. I really thought we were past the “phase” of rocking out to Bon Jovi on the dance floor at a reception hall with a Coors Light in hand but clearly we aren’t. But you know what? I am looking forward to it and ready to buy some new party dresses.

~ I love being organized but with that being said I feel like I actually have too much technology right now and my paper planner has left me feeling lost. I can’t decide where I want to menu plan, keep family info, write the grocery list etc…so I am left with one thing on my ipad, one thing in my MomAgenda and everything else in my head. Sigh…

~ I went to church on Christmas Eve and this weekend for Cate’s baptism. It felt really good, really right to be back in that space. I realized that I miss worshipping. I miss the hour I have to clear my mind and recharge. I need to get back in church. It’s important to me and I have decided it’s time. So, I vow this weekend, I will take a child (probably Cate) and go. I would like to take Brady. He didn’t really sit still at Cate’s baptism but I realized it’s because we have not taken him to church, taught him how to act in that setting or space. Maybe I will try both once I master taking Cate.

Happy Hump Day Friends! Do you have any tidbits you would like to share?


2012- My Thoughts

Well, hello 2012!
As I am writing this evening with both babies in bed and in my quiet house, I realize I have spent a lot of time in my head thinking about 2011. I realize how sometimes the things I have said to my husband don’t actually reflect how I feel. There are moments when frustration sets in and I speak tersely to him about my fatigue, stress, or complaints. Yet, when I am alone, quiet and reflecting I can’t get over how lucky we have been, how complete I feel and how many things feel so “right”.

Like Buzz in Cate’s crib. Any ideas who idea that was? I will give you one guess.
This kid. Who is fiercely independent, funny, and sweet.

And now, in 2012 I am thinking about all the things I want to happen this year. I hate resolutions. I actually hate change if I am being perfectly honest. But, sometimes change is good. It can be necessary to make you better. This year, I tried to come up with a word. A word to live by. Two words. Three. It didn’t work. So, I am focusing on goals.

Goal 1- I need to find the ability to balance both my personal and professional life, not necessarily equal but both having weight on the scale of life.

Goal 2- Find time to spend with my husband, my friends, and my family. It is so easy to be with in the same room as some one and call it spending time together but I need to be present. I want listen more, put my ipad away, and be the one to initiate plans. I want to MAKE time for each of them. No more “I’m so busy” responses. Tired might be an acceptable excuse. Just kidding. Both are easy ways out.

Goal 3- When I am with my kids I want to be present. So often when Brady says, “play mama” I go down to the basement with him taking my phone, distractedly trying to play with him while I check email, facebook or twitter. No more. Nightly, when I feed Cate, I find myself thinking about work or actually checking my phone for email. No more. I want to be present. I want to watch her drink that bottle and watch her eyes slowly close as she releases her grip on my finger. I want my kids to remember that they were my priority. Not my Words with Friends game, not twitter or the email on my screen.

Does it get any better than a baby in the bath?

Goal 4- Me. I want to find time that reminds me that I matter too. Exercise is my refuge. The gym is my sacred place. My happy place. I am a different person when I get a workout in. I need to sweat, to move and burn that energy. I am a better mama when I workout. I am a better wife. I immerse myself in to it when I need to clear my head, when I am tired or need a break. I have to fit this in. I am also a realist. It can’t happen every day but I am committed to finding a balance between doing this for me and being a mama and wife.

Goal 5- I want to accept that sometimes it’s okay to share responsibilities. The notion that needing a night off or a night out does not make me less of a mama. I need to recognize that my husband needs a night off too!

Goal 6- I want to find a balance between my responsibilities as a teacher, mama and wife along with things that I have a desire to learn. This little space, my DSLR, and Photoshop are all on the list and I have a plan to get moving. A switch to WordPress, an online Photoshop class, free tutorials and Project 52 will be on the to do list. I will continue to write. I will write for me. I write because it is therapeutic. And I will write when I have something to say or worth talking about.

Goal 7- Purge. Do you hear that Ma? Glenn? Are you listening? I am purging and will stop hoarding and saving every last thing. Less is going to be more for me this year. No, it doesn’t mean I will shop less, but I am going to finally get rid of those things I keep hanging on to that I might need or wear five years from now. Hopefully, this will eliminate some clutter and make my husband happier!

Goal 8-I need to change hats with ease. 5 am alarms, commuting, daycare drop off and pick up, and nighttime routines can break you down. I am going to try to embrace the chaos.

Goal 9- I am going to live in the moment. Be present. Nothing is so important that I can’t stop for ten minutes and play with the Little People cars in our family room and make Brady squeal in delight as they go down the ramps we build or lay on the floor with Cate as she swats at her animals on her activity mat.

As I read, and reread this list, it is hefty. Big ideas. Big changes. I know that I will have some successes and probably some failures. But that is what goals are all about? Right?