Archives for August 2014

Summer Memories

Dear Brady and Cate,

Boop Boop Hallo! Well, it’s here.  The day where schedules change, wake-ups are forced and earlier and I no longer get to spend my days with you.  I want to tell you some things while I remember them about this summer while it feels fresh and real in my head.


First of all, I want to thank you for letting me be your mama this summer. I had so much fun.  You two are the best of friends for the most part and it was humbling to watch you play, hug, love and occasionally fight.  I want to remember how slow the mornings were. Each morning I sat with coffee in my mug and stared as you watched Curious George together side by side on the couch until your bellies rumbled.  I want to remember how many parks we played at and how many days we ate ice cream before dinner.  I will remember the lazy days where we swam with friends, ate dinner outside and managed to stay up way to late.  I will be grateful for all the days I got to throw pitches for hours and the insane amount of times I was asked to put the baby’s diaper back on.

I may go back to work today as a high school teacher but it is no way shape of form what defines me any longer.  This summer I have done a lot of soul searching and I keep coming to the conclusion that I was meant to be your mama. You two are my purpose.  You are the tipping point on tough decisions and the easy answer when people ask me what drives me.

Brady this summer you went from baby to boy.  Inevitably it was going to happen and this summer you morphed in to a little boy who wants nothing more than to be outside playing baseball, or tennis or soccer or any other sport the boys on the block are playing.  You are athletic and tall and competitive.  You play with anyone and love to just be in the game.  You showed us that your energy has no end and one of my proudest moments was when  you didn’t want to leave a soccer game on the block where you were the youngest by years because you just wanted to score a goal.  You learned to ride a bike this summer and those training wheels may just be off before it gets cold.  You’re still timid, which you’ve always been, but you conquered your fear of the pole at the park and the slide at the pool.  You love to be at the beach and the pool even though the water is still not your favorite.  I will never forget the way you run the bases after you hit a ball and the smile you crack when you score a goal.

Cate you have taken a big turn for the better little girl.  You are growing faster in size than you ever have and yet your personality is what’s shining this summer. You will go anywhere, do anything and have no fear.  I will never forget the smile on your face as you rode a big kid ride at Northbrook Days or the way you swing like there is no other place you would rather be.  You love to ride your big wheel and fly down the hills with your feet up high in the air.  You are happy, hilarious and your memory is scary.  You idolize your brother more than ever having spent the summer with him.  You antagonize him and call him “Brade” with that devilish grin we have come to know as your look.

I keep telling people this summer was quiet, uneventful and yet still so perfect.  I will remember rocking out to Katie Perry in the car one minute and Cate shouting “drink a beer” whenever the song came on the next.  I will remember the quiet mornings at the beach and Brady your first road trip to stay with Mimi and PawPaw.  I will remember this being the first summer that I felt comfortable in my title as mom and our life in the suburbs.

Here’s to a great year and looking forward to the next one coming.  If this summer is any indication, it’s gonna be good.

I love monkeys,



August Brain Dump

This poor blog has the same story of neglect that it had most of  last spring and I guess I am not sure what to do with it at this point.  Do I keep writing when I find the time every once in a while to have a place to remember our lives?  Do I find a different way to store all of the sacred stories we’ve created? Or do I just toss in the towel and move on.  The problem is that with these three choices I still have all kinds of posts swirling in my head but yet sitting down to write just seems unimportant when I am home with two kids who are almost 3 and almost 5.

I go back to work in 10 days and the anxiety is real.  Every August I start to get worried about balance, transitions, and time.  Yet, now I am also struggling with my purpose.    I think every fall I  slowly start to feel ready to go back to work yet this year I haven’t had that thought once.  We quickly fell in to a routine that was comfortable and easy this summer.  There is something so gratifying about my primary purpose of being a mom this summer.  Maybe it took me longer than someone who stayed at home since the birth of a child but the feeling is real.   There is something that deeply calls me to think about my future and what I want it to look like.

B&C Patio

I wrote on Instagram that this summer has been quiet, uneventful and yet so perfect that I think I am getting a glimpse in to what life is started to be with two amazing kids. I watch other kids and think how truly lucky we are to have two kids who go with the flow, are relatively well behaved and enjoy doing just about anything as long as we are together.

As this summer slowly starts to slip away, I hope I find my voice in this space again to show some things that I am excited about.